my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

I am sorry I stayed, but life, illness, dementia parents and a son kept me in this sexless marriage. I like cuddling. Best to all. Why is it that Men are the ones left out in the cold Masturbating in the dark. The most affection I can show without her being irritated is spooning for a short period when were in bed Id better not move my hands to caress her! Sex is over. Sharing your desires is essential, as is listening to her needs. Or simplify it by bringing home her favorite wine and dining on your patio after the kids are in bed. I love her to death but cant stand to be around her anymore. Her body, emotions, and mind were changing. Are there any people at all who have actually solved this any other way apart from no more proper sex or divorce? Peter: she wouldnt interest you shes like me now old, cranky, take pills and fat. Wills comment is more true than not (and certainly not far from true). Should a husband and wife have equal weight in decision making when the husband shoulders ultimate risk for the consequences? But to then take into account the Catholic Churchs stance on that interjects another sticking point, if I may use that term. who cares any more if your in a sexless marriage! Women are very conscious about their bodies in general. A marriage I have no interest in ending, ever. Anyway, I think when one person in a marriage comes to the point my husband is at and apparently yours is too a therapist is really the only answer. She is a vegetarian and a purist in many ways, rejecting hormone therapy because of the published risks of breast cancer associated with hormone therapy, though small, my doctor stated. Id be interested to find out your age. So, Im on my own unless I decide to cheat. Couples counseling can help the two of you get back on track in your marriage and the bedroom. Every month Senior Planets award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues. Will: I was very disturbed to read your post. Ill keep this short, but I could write a short novel. We went to a therapist who separated us and I thought that might help her confidence. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. You need to be in the counseling with her because if there is no goal to overcome the issue then its just a feel good talk of sympathy and thats not treatment. Sometimes I just want fuck all night long but the woman I love has no interest. I certainly feel your pain and utter frustration. Either her body and hormones are so off that she needs the support of . Ya over 40 years with out not a problem. I cannot speak for everyone, but I think we are all sexual beings with desire. I cannot believe that is wasnt suggested that the LWs wife work with a functional doctor who can work with plant based bio identical hormones that can probably increase her desire. Why would he ever have too? I own real estate property with my sister which provides some income. I know this because that is what I do, but I have never been more unhappy in my life. Discussing the problem is a problem in itself because she simply get very irritated and by it and thats the end of that! I really miss the intimacy we used to have when we were sexual. I cuttle with her, hold her close, hold her hand in public and we talked about it. I was her first love. I heard my uncles talk about sex like it was something from their youth that has long gone. She has just lost interest. Ive got wonder if she really was just needing something to be mad at me for. My advice would be to sort these problems out before the years pass and certainly before there are children as I think most men have a stronger sense of loyalty and decency than they are often given credit for and are willing to forgo what is a very primal need for the sake of a stable relationship. NO! Im just sad and trying to figure things out. He just didnt want me and wanted to be left alone, in his world. First woman with the same situation!! But his belly sticks out a lot and makes it extremely difficult to get in because of 3 things. Now whats so hard about that. 18 months later I was told NO sex, by the way we had not had regular sex for near 15 years, and Sexless for near 10. If you guys love your wives and wanna stay till death and your having problems with containment, I lost all desire because I have no testosterone so its been a God send to me. He claims to love me and just wants to continue on with what I consider a rather boring, dreary and certainly sexless marriage! What to do about it: Using lube can help immensely with vaginal dryness and pain, and including more clitoral stimulation and sex toys can help make sure sexual experiences continue to be pleasurable for your wife. Men my advice is dont get married or move in with women if you love sex. I am also in a sexless relationship, same as others in our 50s Im in good shape and shes overweight, out of shape and depressed. Maddening! Outwardly to friends he seems a good husband, and he is BUT he will not have sex as he dies not fancy me anymore! Regards Glenn. He started blaming his medication but when I checked that out he moved on to another excuse. Divorced quickly. Men listen carefully If your wife stopped having sex with you after marriage she will NEVER regain that desire for you. So around our house it is whispered, why is he mad? As I mentioned before, the lack of physical contact can be due to a myriad of reasons.. If you notice intimacy is fading from your marriage, heres what to do when your wife wont touch you. I hear a lot of men on here talk of leaving their wives over this. She is just plain not sexually attracted to me. Super heart broken!!! EXACTLY!!! A study published by the. For many of us, male and female, the virtue of sex resides in the shared experience. She does not like to give blow jobs or hand jobs, so I have to do it myself, jerking off and imagining sex with anyone. And somehow we have convinced ourselves sex has become less important to us as we age and replaced by the comfort of just knowing we love one another? Our mouths and fingers still work! Have you considered opening your relationship or swinging together? We lost our virginity to each other well before our marriage so often, in fact, that on our wedding night we decided we were too tired from the events of the week and just went to bed to sleep. Leah 09. If he wont go, go on your own to express your feelings fully and evaluate whether you want to be in this marriage and, if so, what can be done to improve it. My (50m) wife (48f) and I had a great sexual relationship for most of our marriage. Gopa explains how it can be detrimental to your physical intimacy. Here are some things that you can try if you want to get intimate with your spouse. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. Cheers Rl. . 30 years I kept saying to myself.itll get better Now I have ED. Ask if there is something you can do to make sex more enjoyable for her. A womans lack of interest in physical intimacy can be quite an intriguing puzzle to solve. Most stay in the marriage because of kids and the men cheat as they should. /* It took many years and visits to a lot of therapists to find out why I couldnt perform sexually with my wife during our 30 year marriage. I never cared about sex when I was 35 or now at 76! Not many people enter their senior years wit an active sex life, some do, but not many. Her work has been featured at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. I have hypertension and medications have affected my ability to get an erection. There is a limit to everything and this crosses that line. I must be cursed. Bonobology.com is the couple-relationship destination for Indians everywhere! Most of my female friends in their sixties are married to men who just stopped having sex, wanting sex, initiating sex or any kind of intimacy. Have some fun with someone now and then would help .. any reply on if cheating what to look at to find someone Where???? I get angry, then sad and depressed. If I threw a fit, she would allow it but Buck is correct, who wants to have sex with someone who is repulsed by the act of sex. Oh my goodness you sound so defeated. Most women are unforgiving and never say theyre sorry for the crap they pull, and stop providing or enjoying sex on that basis. Im not really sure if you can put any one word to it. Youre guessing that your wife might have vaginal atrophy, but you dont know. Please go find someone else to enjoy sex with if you can. Its one less thing to think about or do. I am afraid Buck is correct. Love will always outweigh the brief pleasure that $$ and status can provide. You both shatter into a million pieces, and when you emerge from the depths of pain for air, you find that though you are still in love with each other, nothing will ever be the same again. So, Thomas maybe your right they must be doing it wrong. I enjoy sex, but I am often fatigued and have low energy. Even if it is difficult, do everything you can to put yourself in her shoes. The man in solitary pleasure can flavour his immediate physical sensation with the remembrance of shared pleasures, whereas the woman in giving but taking no pleasure in sex finds her memories of shared pleasure to be sullied. Join as many groups as you can, and leave him at home. Weve been married for six years now and its been an abusive relationship in all types of way. But, do not sell yourself. My wife is going through menopause and doesn't want sex. Can I look Should a wife forsake any of these advantages for the principle of equality? ( Keep cardio to a minimum and stay away from the weight machines) I kid you not. that you would love to have *that* him back in your life. Showing discomfort is a telltale sign that your wife isn't taking foreplay positively. The question is, will we accept that fact, those facts, and act upon them in honorable fashion.? Why waste your money and time on hookerd? We still find a way a couple of times a month, but it took my husband a long time to not feel he was at fault. For the most part, her doctor (A woman) has told her that it was time to give it up. Do I disgust her? I had a few clients who had a baby and found it difficult to start getting physically intimate with their spouses again because theyre not comfortable with their bodies, says Gopa. He does not have ED or any similar issue, wont see a therapist or talk about this, and he becomes angry and defensive if I bring up sex or hug him or show any affection. Arguments and maltreatment are nothing to put up with. Doing some bootie grabbing or not being a standing up participant?!? She even went from sleeping naked in bed to full pajamas and on the rare occsion she would have sex to me, remove only her panties like a robot. And perhaps. 3. Cheating is easy and you deserve it . she says when she and I are close she gets panic attacks and anxiety attacks. Its strictly psychological as I have no problems when alone or watching porn, which she is totally against. It Might pass , 45 is menopausal years and I was once told by a friend older than me at the time that it can be like a light switch once you are through menopause and that can be true because what drives sexual desire , it has much to do with hormones and post menopause or during, a women losses a tremendous amount of hormones and hormone replacement ( they will many x use birth control for that) makes one sick or intolerant and I have read many articles in the past that hormone replacement can put one of high risk of cancer in older women, please I am far from a Dr. not even close, but this is what I have gathered along the way. I actually envy those that are single. Females are elevated to the superior status of the male they pair with the reverse is not true receive the protection and provisioning of that male, and enjoy the primary bond with the children. Im 54 and my husband and I enjoy each others company but he does not want to engage in physical affection or intimacy. I am free to masturbate without hiding it, just dont ask for sex, ever. Will, I dont see ruling the relationship and demanding that a wife relieve her husband, even if shes sore or unwilling, as a solution to anything except an unhappy wife. With so many of us in similar situations, it would be nice if we could just reshuffle the deck, at least in this one area. And I love doggie! But did you notice that men have to make the first move? 7 years no sex!!! The reasons behind why a wife avoids physical contact can range from marital discord to just being burned out, says Gopa. She may begin to stop seeing herself as a sexual being as she assumes the role of mother, a role that society often strongly desexualizes. Makes me feel worth lessnot worthless.worth. What do you think a man can do and should do in these cases ??? Why do men who want more sex end up insulting someone who has a pet? We never had sex before marriage and on our wedding night he rolled over and went to sleep. If your wife is pregnant or has had a baby in the last year, it could be a mix of pure exhaustion and wild hormones that are causing her libido to be off kilter. i rejected it, because I have become detached, unhappy and frustrated. Its maddening! I love it communicate, tell her how you feel. Hi Mary Jos!! It is one of the classic signs of a cheating wife and if your gut tells you somethings up, it may be worth investigating it a bit further. Self-love is the answer, but you can help, too. On the other hand, another reason your wife is never in the mood may be related to menopause. This is relevant for anyone with anxiety about their body (which, unfortunately, is true for the vast majority of women), but it may be particularly relevant for women as they age, go through childbirth, or simply experience changes to their body over time. Is there any way I can help alleviate some of the stress she is feeling? I am very hormonal being athletic and take DHEA supplements which enhance desire. Another reason "my wife never initiates physical contact" may be due to hormonal changes. As far as foreplay goes, either I dont know how to do it or she doesnt like to be touched unless she is in the mood. Men dont want to force their wives into sex, nor do they want to beg for it. How can I let my wife know how sexy I find her? Im 57 and my husband is 56 years old. Given the fact that 34%, (some studies say as high as 40%) of women and 15% of men dont like/want sex, is it any wonder that 50% of marriages end in divorce? Sorry Mate. We see each other on a daily basis staying busy to supplement our income and find time to make love once per week. I just want to rebuild my life again, move on, be kissed and touched! The guy is a magnet! I Don't Want To Touch My Husband Anymore (What Could Be Wrong?) I mean the guy has a woman more than willing to get playful and see what happens and he uses porn? Try DHEA. Remember what you felt, believed, and why. They need not be. 10 years of this and going on5 years since last try, dont sleep in same be, snoring medical issues up down. Want to continue the conversation? I am 64 and met a 75 widower for 13 years whom exercises, takes a natural supplement to help with blood flow, and takes occasional viagra. I have suffered from sexual dysfunction ever since I started having sex at 15 back in the mid 1970s. I wish you well and hope you find some consolation Were communicating better but no changes to our sex life even though he has plenty of blue pills. My wife will listen to my concerns about sex, but will not take hormone supplementation because of the science which indicates it can cause cancer in rare cases. I love her. Sorry long diatribe. I would divorce him but whats the point. Its always whatever you want then she lays there kind of tense. Its a disturbing trap that you must avoid. What to about it: Learn how to make a woman have an orgasm and how to make sex better for women. Feel like I have him a lifetime!!! she feels palpitation and jitters and she perspires just as the thought of it.. bottomline, my mom just wants companionship but my dad wants more. I was faithful to my beautiful redhead for 27 yrs, and I never got tired of making love to her. Its incredibly painful!!!! There are many types of intimacy, and they tend to dovetail. Why Doesn't My Wife Want Me Anymore - Is Our Sex Life Over You can gently bring up that you want to keep prioritizing your sex life together so your wife understands how you feel and so you can mutually find ways to work on this part of your lives while still being sensitive to her struggles. With a lot of talk and communication, we have made peace with our sex life. I am 62 years old and a healthy man with sexual needs. Just shows how woman dont know anything about other women. But I do like your advice, dont waste time with them and take whatever you can get now. Ive tried scheduling, bringing in sex toys, texting, dating, hugging and cuddling in bed you name it. Where is my man who would COOK, and have me for dessert?CLEAN! She has a degree in journalism from Northwestern University, and shes been trained and certified by leading sex and relationship institutions such as The Gottman Institute and Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, among others. A woman may lose interest in sex, even in a happy marriage, if the sex does not bring her sexual pleasure. It sounds like there are many many committed marriages but seemingly to unwise and probably unloving spouses. And please dont tell me counseling. But keeping an open dialogue about your mutual wants and desires can improve your sex life tremendously. Again, he has no interest in sex and doesnt even like me seeing him naked say getting out of the shower, or undressing, etc.. And, he remains curled up and turned away from me in bed at night. And Ive been caught too. I am desperate. Well -they dont. with increased relationship satisfaction and heightened orgasm frequency in women. Just feel I want to hide away as I know this is not normal . We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. I understand that kids, work, and home projects can weaken your romantic side over time, but it doesnt have to be that way. We does not seeem to need to hug or cuddle either. Another way to improve lack of sexual desire is to change things up in the bedroom. There are physical and emotion consequences to withholding sex from a partner. Loved and desired! But whatever you do, never go to therapists. We have had a fall out now and it is the elephant If your wife won't touch you, maybe something has changed. Bring back date night (without the pressure to have sex), or simply spend more time talking to each other about your inner worlds: your feelings, your fears, your frustrations, your hopes and dreams. The Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. I just CANNOT do things he EXPECTS from me because of how that makes me feel, ESPECIALLY when it comes to intimacy. You may be ok with the situation youve created.. thats one thing, but to act as though youre merely tolerating the situation as a martyr is pure BS. The Bible says to not deny one another because it leads to stumbling. But he keeps wanting to try and work on it and cant seem to accept that Im changing as I grow old. Lets separate then.NO! When I was single I would simply break off a relationship when the sexual problems would start. If theres no intimacy in your marriage from your wife and youve realized that she may be suffering through mental health issues, Bonobologys panel of experienced therapists can help guide your partner through this turbulent time, and perhaps re-establish the harmonious relationship you yearn for. I became so dry that sex was painful, we tried different lubricants but nothing really helped much. Advice | Ask Damon: My wife doesn't want to have sex anymore 19. She is 33. The man must rule by demanding to get what he wants. Sex is not just about giving what you get, its about an experience that both partners should enjoy equally. My wife and me have been married 9 1/2 years and entered a phas of no sex about 6 months ago. Sigh . A lot of people are martyrs when it comes to sex. I would like to ask her if well ever have a sex life again, but she has a hard time talking about it. I promised her I wouldnt embarrass her or shame her in front of family, friends, or church with an affair. Is the meds freak Im a woman that actually wants it my newlywed husband has no interest but I can tell he feels bad but hes ex military so hes to prideful to get pills Im 41 i been told a lot that Im beautiful .. ok not going there but I know Im a catch but even making him food in a nighty doesnt work he says wow babe thanks am like . You need to find a woman who respects you and wants to be intimate with you on a consistent basis. Have sexual experiences together that don't revolve around intercourse. Just arent attracted to him anymore? For everything there is a season. And now we are old and the chance of my wife changing are now nil. I said I am a human male and I have basic needs. I like to think there is hope but unsure. Period!!! I am fairly attractive and I. As long as we had a steady job and didnt look like Shrek, shed settle for us. . That may not be possible. But we didnt know what we had. But it isnt. My husband spent hundreds of hours on his phone coming up with scenarios to cope with a diagnosis of peyronies that has impacted our ability to have sex, but has never once gone to you tube to figure out how to give me an orgasm! She wasnt as attractive or as fine a dresser, and my adolescent mind didnt see her as the choice for my good looks. You should know the truth brother. It is now marketers more to females also, which isnt improving relationships. It is so sad listening to mostly men talk about their wives not wanting sex. I am not willing to live the last 15-20 years of my life without affection, at least. So therapy would be out of the question, and shed never think about going on anything like low dose hormone therapy. As far as the guy I liked, nothing ever came of it. In this case, you can turn the tide for your sex life by simply becoming more involved in running the household and making your wife feel special by going the extra mile toreduce her burden. Dont you dare accuse all men of being selfish and unhelpful. No love no sex. By Joan Price why is he grumpy? I dont understand. This could be a reason why your wife avoids sex. Im a 66 year old man whos been in a sexless marriage for 33 years. After my wife lost interest, I told her that we either opened our marriage or divorced. I love my wife dearly after 52 years and great grandchildren I would have my junk removed before I hurt my family and our long marriage is a point of great pride and example for these people God allowed us to have in our lives. My husband never had my love of sex. Anyway, I simply want you to know that as many women as men are trapped in this sadness. I cant do that, divorce right away. Weve been married for 37 years. As I recall when we first started dating we were watching porn together. I am guilty of that. At 45 years old I met this man All I can say that my sexual desire was immediately and irreversibly shut off like a light switch. None of us know how to read, converse or think. If you think your wife avoids intimacy because of an underlying condition, its best to seek medical help at the earliest. Hopefully I will die and be out of this misery. I love him and still desire him (even though he lost his hair and gained a gut!!) this.page.url = PAGE_URL; Im so confused. I have what may be slight ED..but offered to stimulate and play at sex often..there are some really fun marital I wish I could be fulfilled without sex, like many women as they age. Discuss it with her: Share this iMOM article with your wife and discuss it: 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood. I dont thinks this was the place to sound your horn (pun). I have tried everything too, to no avail, things only get worse, not better. You can usually put these triggering events into two main categories. Too bad, b/c I think Id be better for him than she could ever be. We havent had sex in 6 months and she has rejected my advances numerous times. It is possible that a lack of sex may have shifted your focus on physical intimacy whereas a lack of emotional intimacy may be driving your wife away from the idea of sex. Not only are you missing out on some fun in the bedroom, but most importantly, youre missing that intimate connection it creates with your wife. Many marriages have been ruin, husband are sad, desperate, when wives started to isolate themselves. Then we got married and had kids (not that I regret) but 20 years of pulling teeth juts to get touched or even desired really hurts. She wants no part of it. Suddenly it all makes sense. I can live with that, but I can not live with never being touched or made love to ever again. And feel that what ls what the real problem ls ,should l just exsept this he said lt to uncomfortable to have sex due to his prostate he never touches me l own the house but now he says he wants to put lt ln a trust ,as lf l die he gets lt and visa versa can u help me ,he hates talking about lt but made lt clear lt was not me but his prostate he ls also on. I remember when certain words did the trick. My wife and I now both sleep with settled stomachs (and I dont wake hungry in the night). Hmmm. But unfortunately I do feel that it is my fault I just wish I knew what and that I could make it better. Right now Im going on over three months since shes wanted sex. She may give in from time to time to satisfy her man, but the drive is gone. It will resotre his body as well and make you hapoier. Hi Christi, the best thing about this article is the comment section! Please help. If your penis does not work, attempt to fix it. I feel so much pain amd resentment!!! If your wife doesnt want sex anymore, it may not be a low libido so much as a poor mom-life balance thats getting in the way of things. All that said, unless your wife has a known health condition that she's currently managingor she's had a very sudden and significant change in her sex drivedon't assume that her lack of interest in having sex with you means something is medically wrong with her. How to Deal with a Sexless Marriage - Senior Planet from AARP

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